Dogs are not lazy. We are strategic. We know that a walk is better after rest, a snack is better after a walk, and a nap is better after nearly everything. Humans, meanwhile, often act as if sitting down for…

Dear restaurants, I am happy to support technology when it helps. A reservation app is helpful. Paying from the table can be helpful. Even a small screen that tells us our table is ready can be helpful. But the QR-code…

Humans love calling things smart. Smart lights. Smart speakers. Smart thermostats. Smart doorbells. Soon there may be a smart spoon that tells you that you are eating soup. But I have a question from the floor level: what exactly makes…

There should be one honest button on every phone, computer, and television. It should be large, friendly, and impossible to hide. It should say: “What am I paying for?” When pressed, it would show every subscription, the monthly price, the…

Homes rarely become messy because one dramatic event happens. They become messy because of tiny decisions. A cup goes on the table instead of the dishwasher. A jacket lands on a chair. Mail sits on the counter. One small thing…

Dear stores, I understand why you want an app. An app can show prices, hold receipts, remember shopping lists, and tell customers where to find toothpaste. Those are useful ideas. But too many store apps seem to believe their first…

There are buttons that deserve respect. The delete button deserves respect. The send button deserves respect. But the Reply All button deserves a tiny warning label, a safety helmet, and maybe a person standing nearby asking, “Are you absolutely certain?”…

Doing nothing has terrible marketing. If you spend an hour answering email, you were productive. If you spend an hour fixing a shelf, you accomplished something. If you sit quietly with no screen, no list, and no plan, you may…

A car is not a closet, although humans often treat it like one. It should not contain seventeen old receipts, three mystery jackets, or a collection of empty water bottles rolling under the seat. Still, a few useful items can…

Dear Apple, credit where credit is due: Siri AI is great. You arrived later than some other companies, but showing up late with something thoughtful is better than arriving early with a broken party favor. So far, the improvements feel…

Dear GPS, I appreciate you. You have helped humans find restaurants, airports, friends’ houses, and that one weird medical office hidden behind a tire store. You can show traffic, estimate arrival times, and calmly tell people that a four-hour drive…

Dogs are often told that humans are the smart ones. Humans invented air conditioning, cheese drawers, and blankets fresh from the dryer. These are strong achievements. Then humans do things that make absolutely no sense. You Set an Alarm and…

Dear Customer-Service Robots, I know you are trying to help. You greet me at midnight. You never take lunch. You can tell me where to find the return policy. For simple questions, you are often faster than waiting on hold…

I am a pug, not a chef. My main kitchen skills are listening for packages, inspecting the floor, and looking hungry five minutes after dinner. Still, even I understand that a good snack should not require fourteen ingredients and a…

I have a theory: hotel rooms are designed by people who have never entered a hotel room while tired. They arrive in daylight, carrying a clipboard and one decorative pillow. They admire the dramatic lamp. They approve the tiny glass…

The internet has given the phrase “life hack” a difficult life. Some hacks require twelve tools, a hot-glue gun, and more time than the original task. Others solve problems nobody has. I do not need to turn a watermelon into…

Dear Streaming Services, Last night I opened an app to continue watching a show. This should have taken seven seconds. Instead, I saw a giant advertisement, a row of new releases, three collections chosen “for me,” a sporting event I…

Dear Apple, I would like to change one setting on my iPhone. That sentence should not sound like the beginning of an adventure movie. I should not need a map, a flashlight, and three hours of free time. I should…

Dear Apple, I have a small request for Siri. Actually, it is not even a new request. It is a request about what happens when Siri cannot complete my first request. Here is the problem. I am driving somewhere with…

A Pug’s Business Trip to Tucson, Arizona Most people assume pugs only travel to parks, pet stores, and that one spot under the dining room table where someone dropped a chicken nugget three years ago. Not me. I recently packed…